Fear and Fragility

I've always been quite an adventurous person wanting to try and experience new activities. I recently knocked my head on the banana boat ride at Port Dickson and it sure did scared the hell out of me.
I felt so woozy and dizzy and was also crying to my husband afraid that it'll be something major. I honestly did imagine the worst than can happened. Sobbing away while telling my husband that my baby is only 1 year old and he will not remember me.....sob-sob-sob.
Well, its been 3 days now and I'm all fine and healthy. Just a little swollen but other than that, I'm good.
After this incident, I vow not not take any more risks. No more jet-ski, sky diving, para sailing etc.etc...

He's such a Chatterbox....

The anticipation is now....Wondering what would be his first word apart from " ahhh-ahhh-ahhh". He seems to be able to control his voice to let out the sound whenever he desires. And, he's pretty good at directing his wishes through his little voice box.

From L O N G to short

I tried too hard sometimes...

I believed my personality changes now that I have my son. Its amazing how much you treasure family ties among parents and siblings, ( my sisters particularly ).Its also because they don't live in the same country and I only get to see them couple of times a year. We are soooOO close that I get awfully hurt when I tried too hard to spend time with them whenever they are back. Of course, I've got a curfew with my little one as his schedule are pretty rigid and I try not to flex it. It just gets harder when everyone has their own agenda and there I am, wanting to fit in with my little one...sigh !
Nevertheless, its all good and will always be great to have them back. We've been blessed to be sisters in this life and that's already the greatest gift ever ! Love you both !

Snip it all away

Its been more than 10 years that I'm such a pessimist when it comes to changing my hair style. Ever since I was 14 when I had my shortest haircut of all times, it was forever shoulder length till today. Today, I developed my courage to have it all snipped. From the back, I can be mistaken for a boy, I think.
I have been going to the same stylist because she LISTENS to me. It is a turning point for me as this is a huge decision, especially when it concerns the crowning glory. I have to confess that it it indeed my son whom made me see myself in a different light. With so much time and energy spent on him, it is almost impossible to have time for yourself. Talk about beauty upkeeping ! I am one of the worst among my sisters and I'm always the one who cared less. Because of this, I totally needed a reason to have my hair short looking chic and trendy. I chose a style thats between Paris Hilton and Victoria Beckham. Put the two together, and viola...that's me !
I loved it so far. It makes me feel fresh and light. Drying my hair was effortless. I even use less shampoo. Kinda cost saving too. I shall upload a picture of me before and after for the benefit of the reader.
From this point onwards, my hair would only get shorter. I have no regrets, thanks to my wonderful stylist.

One Unforgettable Sunday

At about the same time last Sunday, 22nd March 2009...My worst nightmare begins. My little Kai-jie who is 8 months old got admitted to the hospital. His tender hands got poked 3 times in order to get some blood samples for test. He got his first x-ray and was confirmed of lung infection. All of these took place when he got a slight cough and cold followed with a series of fever that would not back down. It would not have been such a painful event if I do not see his ever cheerful, cheeky face turned solemnly sad and all he does was cry in pain and discomfort and then slowly fallen to sickly sleep on my shoulder. He refused to be fed and shows no interest to all his favourite toys.
I can clearly recalled his cries of agony when 2 nurses and a doctor pinned him down to look at his hand trying to look for a visible vein. It was those cries and anger in his eyes that seem to be asking me..."mama, why do you let them do this to me? My heart ached the way no one can imagine but I focused on telling myself that I gotta be strong and pull myself together not to shed a tear. Can't believed that writing this out now makes me cry...
He was immediately put on the nebulizer, drip and antibiotics. His fears never left him even when I cleaned his poop as he thought I wanted to perform the supository. All person in uniforms were his enemies. He continued to clinged on dearly to me for the next 3 days of his recovery. I tell myself that I am not tired if I am able to see him well again. Psychologically, that may worked, unfortunately I'm only human. My immune system finally gave way and I was down with his cold and cough. As I'm writing now, I'm only about 70% to my healthy level.
Its an episode in my life that stays within my heart and I vowed to never put him through that again. I told " the above" that I'm willing to bear all his sickness in his life. I only hope that my little Kai-jie knows that I, his mother is ever more than willing to undertake all his pains that he'll ever need to experience. Do all mothers feel like I do ? I continue to wonder.

Day 1 using a blog

I have never quite understood why do people blog. It is only through my younger sister whom is 7 years my junior enlightened me the true meaning to blogging. She spent time showing me some interesting bloggers who share and care for one another...(not that they do not have friends in reality). I must agree that there are times when you just needed to pour out all of your thoughts and feelings but just could not do it to your other half or so. And, there is the Bloggers' Haven to help you out ! So here am I, a beginner to the bloggers' world...starting out fresh and willing to experience and share my joy, sorrow, success, failure, dissappointment and etc...