At about the same time last Sunday, 22nd March 2009...My worst nightmare begins. My little Kai-jie who is 8 months old got admitted to the hospital. His tender hands got poked 3 times in order to get some blood samples for test. He got his first x-ray and was confirmed of lung infection. All of these took place when he got a slight cough and cold followed with a series of fever that would not back down. It would not have been such a painful event if I do not see his ever cheerful, cheeky face turned solemnly sad and all he does was cry in pain and discomfort and then slowly fallen to sickly sleep on my shoulder. He refused to be fed and shows no interest to all his favourite toys.
I can clearly recalled his cries of agony when 2 nurses and a doctor pinned him down to look at his hand trying to look for a visible vein. It was those cries and anger in his eyes that seem to be asking me..."mama, why do you let them do this to me? My heart ached the way no one can imagine but I focused on telling myself that I gotta be strong and pull myself together not to shed a tear. Can't believed that writing this out now makes me cry...
He was immediately put on the nebulizer, drip and antibiotics. His fears never left him even when I cleaned his poop as he thought I wanted to perform the supository. All person in uniforms were his enemies. He continued to clinged on dearly to me for the next 3 days of his recovery. I tell myself that I am not tired if I am able to see him well again. Psychologically, that may worked, unfortunately I'm only human. My immune system finally gave way and I was down with his cold and cough. As I'm writing now, I'm only about 70% to my healthy level.
Its an episode in my life that stays within my heart and I vowed to never put him through that again. I told " the above" that I'm willing to bear all his sickness in his life. I only hope that my little Kai-jie knows that I, his mother is ever more than willing to undertake all his pains that he'll ever need to experience. Do all mothers feel like I do ? I continue to wonder.
I can clearly recalled his cries of agony when 2 nurses and a doctor pinned him down to look at his hand trying to look for a visible vein. It was those cries and anger in his eyes that seem to be asking me..."mama, why do you let them do this to me? My heart ached the way no one can imagine but I focused on telling myself that I gotta be strong and pull myself together not to shed a tear. Can't believed that writing this out now makes me cry...
He was immediately put on the nebulizer, drip and antibiotics. His fears never left him even when I cleaned his poop as he thought I wanted to perform the supository. All person in uniforms were his enemies. He continued to clinged on dearly to me for the next 3 days of his recovery. I tell myself that I am not tired if I am able to see him well again. Psychologically, that may worked, unfortunately I'm only human. My immune system finally gave way and I was down with his cold and cough. As I'm writing now, I'm only about 70% to my healthy level.
Its an episode in my life that stays within my heart and I vowed to never put him through that again. I told " the above" that I'm willing to bear all his sickness in his life. I only hope that my little Kai-jie knows that I, his mother is ever more than willing to undertake all his pains that he'll ever need to experience. Do all mothers feel like I do ? I continue to wonder.
1 comments:
Oh, poor little one! The same thing happened to my daughter when she was 8 months old--it was pneumonia.
Hope he is feeling better.
Cathy
P.S. He is an adorable baby. :)
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